Never say "Go Ahead, Make My Day" to the Spells R Us wizard. Testimonial from Dirty Harry.
Fiction: Something Invented by the Imagination
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|Great beginning..I love the way they manipulated the week bastard. I hope he suffers emotionally, physicaly and financially in the hands of the cruel girls..Please keep on and more details on his slow descent please..|
|I liked the story, but would like to see it continued with Jess maybe being tricked into having his hair done, learning makeup, etc. also him experiencing nursing. In the story as it stands, i would have liked more detailed descriptions of Jess being dressed up and how he felt about it. Also maybe some suspense as others find out - maybe Michelle, Amber or Amy's girlfriends. heartless asit seems, maybe kill off Amber and jess is the only one who can feed/raise the baby?|
|To The Author This is a Question really. Ive read a few of your stories and I keep waiting for your Sissy to have a Little spunk, a little bit of self worth. But they never do. They always let women use them to the point of being of the same worth as toilet paper they have just finished cleaning the remains of their last turd from their Backside with. Why is that? I mean Ive met and had lots of relationships with women in my time and I don't think Ive met one that is anywhere near as cruel or as selfish as these women you write. Now I did Know a sissy once that was a natural you could say , He should have been born a girl and I can't Imagine why anyone would be cruel or mean to him either. He was just such a Sweetie I think I must be missing something here. Why do you write the Sissy so foolish and the women so Mean?Just WonderingAndrew|
|one heck of a plot!!!very dramatic and well written.I felt like I was reading a novel or watching a good movie.on the down side, the story became progressivly harder to read as words were mis-spelled and others were spelled the way their soundalikes should be spelledHare for hair would be an example though it may not be in the actual story. Spellcheckers don't catch these kind of mistakes very often. This may be from relying on a spellchecker to correct too much in your story. You have too good a command of the english language not to have this corrected. After a careful spellcheck, try reading the story out loud and making corrections. Then get someone else to read it and point out errors. Then run it through a spellcheck again. If you can eliminate some of the more obvious errors, the rest of this wonderfully plotted story should be a joy to read.PS when the alien swapped bodies at the airpot everyone should not have their old body occupied by the mind of their current body. presumably, the alien went from body a to body b to body c etc. leaving each person in the body next in line. In other words, when the alien becomes the 10 yr old boy and swaps with the detective, the boy doesnt get his body, since he was already swapped with an earlier bodyfor the same reason the twin girls and the 2 guys cant be in each other's body. if the alien went from his current body to twin 1 to the 1st man to the 2nd twin to the 2nd man, the next person swapped would be in the second man's body, not a twin. it was very nicely done but it just doesn't work that way assuming the alien has only seconds or minutes at most to swap 90+ people. just make the boy occupy say a girls body and the second twin occupy a strange man's body and your story should run smoother it may not sound much like it but i assure you i enjoyed the story a lot and just want it to be even better in a future rewrite when you add the ending!and I DO want to see more from you. I love the use of details and the dramatic plotting!|
|Fantastic story....why did you stop so soon....please continue more stories like this.|
|Altered Fates: To Heal a Soul|
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