Random Reviews
Cal-- This site is called FICTIONmania. Study this word carefully and take note. |
Meditations Details |
Like somebody else said, it wasn't bad for a first effort, and I hope you will continue.I also agree that the story of guys changed for the sake of revenge has been written before, but so have a lot of other stories. There really aren't that many plots. Even Shakespeare borrowed plots that had been used before.The trick is what you do with the plot. Look for new twists, new ways to tell the basic story.I would also suggest that you get a copy of Strunk and White's ELEMENTS OF STYLE. I saw a lot of grammatical and writing errors in your story, and this book will tell you what they are and how to avoid them.Yes, fixing such errors IS important. If you think of a story as a house, the plot is the blueprint, but the rules of grammar and the techniques of writing are the tools you use to build it with.A person can read and even enjoy a baddly written story, if the writer has talent, just as a person can live in a poorly built house. However, your readers will enjoy a well-written story more.This is true, if for no other reason than that, when a reader notices a grammatical error -- say, using "they're" for "their" as you did at one point in the story -- it's like stumbling over a bump in the road. It breaks the concentration on the story, pulls the reader away from the world of the story, if you will.Another habit you need to break is having the speeches of two people in the same paragraph. A paragraph is a single thought. Since two people can't share a single thought -- as well as just for clarity -- each speaker should have a paragraph of his own. This is true even if it means a lot of one sentence paragraphs for a long conversation.Please don't take all this as saying it was a bad story. It wasn't. I read and enjoyed it. I'm just saying that it could gave been a better story. I'm going on like this in the hopes that you'll take my advice, so that your future stories (which I look forward to reading) will be better.Ellie |
Willie's Revenge Details |
While a nice story, nothing really happens.What is the point of revenge if the person doesn't remember what the vengance was for?Here is an ending to consider for a rewrite, as a joke.Stella was uneasy as a thought run though her mind, she was supposed "To serve and protect"."Silly me!!", she laughed. "I have to stop and get some protection for those special customers who meet me after my set!!" |
The Ticket Details |
Taylor is borderline evil, but that aspect is what makes him and this story so appealing. |
Predator and Prey - Part 07 Details |
Good workmanlike piece for its genre.Gaff = device used by carny or magician to work an illusion; by extension, device used toconceal a man's genitals for the illusion of womanhood. Gaffe = blunder. Or are the twospelled alike in e.g Britain? |
Candy's Story Details |
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