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RSSas of: 02/24/23
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as of: 04/19/2024
as of: 04/07/2024
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 After Pinocchio visited Pleasure Island, falling donkey prices forced it into the more lucrative bad-boy/good-girl market. |
FICTIONMANIAFiction: Something Invented by the Imagination
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Random Reviews
| I really am enjoying this story, and I would really love to read more. The parts of the story that other people seem to take offence help contribute to making this story work for me. It's fiction, and just as I abhore things like non-consensual sex in real life, I think it is fare game in a story. There are some things I think should be changed. The first scene of the story states that John is too nervious to meet the girls in his dorm. Then he starts playing grab-ass with a stranger. This threw me a bit. Furthermore, if a strange "dyke" walked up to this shy guy at a party and behaved like Sean does, his reaction probably should have been much more defensive. Maybe if John felt more attracted to the strange girl his reaction would make more sense. I think the intro needs to be reworked. I would like to see better transitions between parts. When Krissy says her mother will come pick her up, you could have the car honk and have Krissy say goodnight or something. Jumping to the next day was a jolt. As the previous reviewer said, maybe adding section titles would help the transitions. The scene near the end where John and Sean are in the shower, with the roomate coming into the bathroom to piss was confusing to me. The situation should have been more uncomfortable for those two, and we should have heard some time pass while the roomate took care of business. I think Sean should have had some uncontrollable reaction to being cramed in the shower with a naked male (after John put on the ring). I'd also like to see John's reaction to such a situation, rather than notice fine details about his failed transformation. How much self-inspection can they do crammed together in the shower? One other thought: you should put more effort to show that those comments about women's roles in society are actually the characters' beliefs. Sometimes it seems like it is the narrator's comments, which can annoy the reader. Maybe have one character be more moderate and argumentative about how modern women can be equals in our society. But don't belabor it. Anyway, be sure to make it clear who is thinking or saying those ideas about women. And please write more of this story! Thanks! |
| The Burning Candle Details |
| Janet--Am reviewing several of your tales today. Pls. drop me a line at new Email address above. Maybe I'll have to become an author--I don't think Mindy has a guestbook for personal exchanges...Tina This one--is it Office Boy? was one of the first I read late last year--still good, but I've been thinking about your endings, which often seem so similar as to blur in the memory. It's not a problem, but maybe you'd be open to some suggestions from a devoted reader on how to vary the pattern, while still bringing your heroes to the dream-finish line where they live and/or 'become' women for life! |
| The Office Boy Details |
| I really liked this story. It was a lot of fun every step of the way. It was fun exploring all of James' new emotions, lesbian sex with his girlfriend, his new feelings toward boys, becoming his girlfriend's girlfriend, not to mention his feelings towards himself in this tiny female body. Looking forward to the sequal! |
| Alyssa's Magic Details |
| I loved your story however still trying to go thru the twist and turns. I think that Natasha/Benny will be a woman and pleasing men or women for the future. Lov Bobby |
| Comic Con Con 7 Details |
| But, when Sam Beckett leapt into another persona, he only took on their aura: his physical self was still the same. I don't understand how all of that physical stuff could happen. Well, except there was that one episode where Sam felt the effects of the pregnancy into which he leapt, but he leapt out before the birth. Which brings me to another question: how did he feel to others that touched him and stuff. For instance, whenever Sam leapt into a female, and someone touched his chest, would they feel breasts or be surprised by seeing what they were touching, but not feeling what they were touching? |
| Quantum Leap: Safe Sex Details |
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