Random Reviews
A delightful tale about listening and trust, thank you for the view from your minds eye. |
A Rush to Judgment Details |
Hi Sandy,Great story and well written, thank you!LoLRitaPS, Hope you don't become another Louis L. |
Isabel's Birthday Party, Part 2 Details |
Hi, Illutar, I really like your story, and haveplaced a link to the fictionmania versionon my website. I'd also like to add acopy of your story on my website. Couldyou please contact me so that we can discussdetails?[email protected]Kind regards,-lostboy. |
Dark Changes - The Present Details |
What an excellent first time story, Barney! This was a somewhat novel plotline, and it was interesting to see how the friends changed physically as well as mentally over time. As another as said, perhaps the changes were a bit much for a month time period, but the concept of the change was nicely done. Hopefully, as others have suggested, there may be a sequel in the future, or may consider doing another story along this plotline of "mind over body". Thanks for sharing. |
Breast Friends Details |
Sharphawlad, Please do not consider this a "Flame", because I am not intending it to be that. Your writing style and formatting are quite good, and you can keep the reader's attention. If this is your first attempt as an author, as the story count by your name implies, you are head and shoulders above many who take the initial plunge into authorship. However, you ask SIBC?. IMHO I say no, at least not under the current title. I was hoping that your serial would be a travelog format, similar to the original Nena stories written by Maddie Bell, with an added connection to the Drew/Gabbi series. The first few chapters seemed to be doing just that, and I enjoyed them. However, these last two chapters have strayed from that path and, again IMHO, become bogged down with the influx of too many new characters out of British Saints, Clergy, Royals and Relatives. Frankly, while I consider myself an intelligent reader, I had great difficulty following the plot, and totally lost it now and then. Perhaps you have a story line planned that will bring it all back together, but right now it just seems that your muse is wandering around in search of a path to follow. Perhaps a bit of editing and re-writing would help it unfold. But, it doesn't seem to be about the established Nena/Chris/Jules venue, as implied by the title, any more, and the fact that you even ask SIBC says that you may have doubts yourself. If it is not going where you intended, maybe it is time to bring it to an end. However, that doesn't mean that you should stop writing! I look forward to other stories from you in the near future, because it is clear that you have the talent to be a good author. Thank you for sharing your efforts with all of us. Alanadale |
Chris and Nena's Big Day Chapter 7 Details |
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