Random Reviews
A really great beginning to what I hope will be a much longer tale. It is well written and the characters are believable. You've woven several hints at possible subplots into the story very subtlely like sowing seeds in your readers minds. Can't wait to see what grows! Write On. |
Goddess' Blessing Details |
Hank needs help with his female side in chapter 14 |
It's Hard to be a Man Details |
Wonderful! You've got a total command of this style of story. It'd be great to see an exec brought down to secretarial status this way, or some other "demotion" scenario (Doctor to Nurse, Lawyer to legal assistant, restaurant owner to waitress) because you can really write these kinds of stories so well. It's paced brightly, the dialogue is believable and it's sensual without the brutal stuff that often ruins it for me. MORE! Please. |
The Perfect Girl Details |
That is an absolutely wonderful story. I can't wait for more!You make such wonderful use of writing about what you have experienced or are familiar with. And showing instead of telling. You have a real talent, and the words seem to just flow naturally. But it is obvious after a closer look that you put thought and care into polishing the story and have done it well. Congratulations, Rachel.It really helped to identify with Rachel in the story when you showed us her emotions rollercoastering and how tightly wound up the anxiety of the situations would get her. I have gone through much the same things; out every weekend hoping everyone would look at me and hoping no one would look at the same time. Knowing you're passable, but sure that everyone can tell. It's a strain, and it plays hell with your emotions and imagination. The adrenaline keeps you going hours into the night and morning, but it leaves you exhausted at the same time.Of course, I've never run off the road and been picked up by a prototypical alpha male before, so I can't identify as much with that part of your story except as a fantasy. Like most transvestites, I feel pretty heterosexual, so I can sort of fantasize about the sex but not really identify as much. It will be a real challenge for you to keep us involved and identifying with Rachel in the story as the fantasy part continues. But you seem to be both inspired and skilled, so I look forward to it. :-)I should mention that a few misspellings slightly marred your beautiful story. One makes a bee line not a B line, for instance. Things happen on cue, not queue was another one. There were probably six or seven such spots in the whole story. Just tiny flaws, please don't take this as negative criticism. We're all human and have typos or inadvertent misspellings or just honestly thought certain words are defined differently than they are--nobody is perfect! Besides, I sometimes work as a copy editor and notice these things much more than most. In fact, if you'd like me to copy edit any future stories for you, I'd consider it an honor (free, of course :-). My email address is below.I've saved a copy of this story on my own computer and look forward to rereading it with much pleasure.Annie[email protected] |
Rachael, Crossing the Line Details |
It's in the Que bandit... HugsMary Beth |
Patti's Play Pal Details |
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