Random Reviews
Yes, the "good" doctor who would use, abuse and murder the patient should be turned into a sexless whore, perhaps in prison or some place like Haiti. |
While Sleeping, Beautified Details |
I like how the story is progressing but...It feels like this section was rushed. To think that Miss Chapford would not ask those that assaulted the facility on who or how many were attacking seems to wrong as she clearly had anticipated something was going to happen as with how security failed to do so also.Also I though that students would not be able to tell who others were. I may be wrong on this part given what was usually told or said as this would allow 'Mary' to say the names of others. Just a thought on this.A few minor typo's but other than that an enjoyable story. |
St. Searle's Academy: The New Class - part 10 Details |
By far the best story here!The story flows well, the characters are well devloped, the writng paints the perfect picture, everything fell in perfect place. The "John" character works well as comic-relief. The aspect of him and Jenni hooking up was predicted early on, but was a good arc in the story. "Dale"'s devlopment works well too, his "metamorphis" into the female Dale, in complete contrast to other stores here, actualy evolves from within. He dosen't over night given into the female persona, it takes him a year to get into that character. Tot tell you how good this story is, it's the first sstory that has prompted me to write a review. I can say there are a couple areas that need help... 1. The timeline seems a bit screwy. Dale gets his hormone treatments in August, it seemed, whereas August is the time many students start school, but the story indicates Dale has been doing this at school for months already. The play and preperation for it seems to take a bit longer than it would in real life, and also seems to occur later than it is lead to believe. I would suggest maybe skiming through the story and straightening the chronolgy a bit, or maybe make it a little more clear.Also, I liked the flash-forward to three years later. I don't think we need to know what really occured here. We can logicaly assume that Dale continued his college education at the school, dated Leroy more and more, and Dale pursued his law-school dreams. Flashing-forward is a device we see used in many stories and movies as a means of resolving the story, without showing us the minutia. All we need to know is how Dale devloped into being a woman, at the end of tha first year he's excepted his fate, story's over, now we just need to end it. Good decison.Id like to see this story be a template, a guide, to how future stories in the forum should be. Down with hocus-pocus magicaly become a big-breasted slut with the wave of magic wand, or use of potions or other goof means. Lets devlop some CHARACTERS!Good job! Fantastic Job! |
Just One Day Of Your Life Details |
This was a magnificent work. I never read romance novels and never will. THIS is what love and romance are all about. This story and Dress Code are two of the best on the board. |
Presto Chango Details |
Michelle X, Another great story. You have a perfect record in my eyes with 3 great stories. Some might say he would have resisted, etc. but I loved it.I can't wait for more stories from you. Maybe even hear about Melissa Conquests or update story on Tracy in College.Anyways great story! |
Demoted Details |
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