Zagros was a white male US citizen until he caught the Hong Kong M2F virus from FM. Now as a Asian girl, she wants a green card.
 

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nice stories. Spesially the transformation. Had that beeing me....:) A really good one...
Witches Brew2     Details
Well I don't mean to spoil the party but as much as I enjoyed this story I found that there was a farcical nature to it - which I'll accept was probably deliberate proved too much for me. In about 5 to 6 paragraphs Howard and Lenny went from nerds to babes. And Lenny proved very easy to break down. This went past fantasy to me to pornographical TG fiction. Sometimes it works but for me I wasn't totally impressed. What I did enjoy was the idea which was quite new in itself with a tinge of humour. A company so full of nerds that the nerds become women. What might have been interesting would have been a much more long-drawn out transformation of Lenny and Howard and their love affair not occuring after half a day and a couple of blowjobs. However your writing style is exciting and believable so well done. I hope you don't take the criticism offensively but constructively.
Better Business     Details
A fairly common story, but wonderfully told! Others have commented on the mis-spellings, so I'll gloss over them. Nice mix of direct vs reported speech vs action. If Brian isn't a professional writer, he deserves to be (then he'll have an editor who will correct his spelling mistakes :) Finally .... yes, the ending WAS weak. The gap between reconciling with Leroy and marrying him was very abrupt. But I have the same trouble with my stories, too. Keep them coming, Brian
Just One Day Of Your Life     Details
Paul, I really enjoyed this apart from the spelling of Ducati it was really superb. Love Elaine
Life's Great Lotto (or Sometimes, You Just Can't Win)     Details
I tried to send this to you in email but it got a non-delivery error (yahoo account unknown): I really liked your story 'Elephant and Castle (The Coven: # 2)'. Enough in fact that I wanted to put a little work into offering some criticism. Telling you I liked or disliked your story doesn't do you any good, does it? Where to begin? Ah, I was drawn to the story because I noticed the 'cultural change' category. I've a soft spot for stories involving a magical transition of a character from Anglo-male to African (black) female. Your story did a great job of capturing that transformation. Although possibly exaggerated, the play with the language makes the change of culture/race seem much more concrete. I'm not familiar with England and found the idea of West Indies ghettos on the British Isle interesting. I've pictured people of African descent being more like 'Down Town' Julie Brown from MTV or Soul to Soul. Was your depiction mostly a stereotype or did it closely resemble reality? The language also illustrates a change of class/educational level. That further demonstrated that Thomas was becoming a different person. You did a great job of making me feel that. However I felt the beginning of the story was abrupt. You gave no indication that Marc held any animosity for Thomas. Did Thomas wrong Marc in some way? The story lets me know they are in competition for a scholarship or fellowship. However, I felt that Marc was never a serious contender for the prize. Marc might not win even with Thomas out of the way. In contrast, I saw some indication of friendship between the two. Surely no friend would do that to his buddy. Marc would want to win, but wouldn't there be another less drastic method? Plus, the witch from the coven says Marc is getting revenge on Thomas. Again, what did Thomas do? Another thing that is both paradoxical and disturbing is Sharleen. How could she be okay with this change if it meant giving up her babies? The new Sharleen seemed to only care about sex with her boyfriend and having babies. Even though the witch modified the new Sharleen a little, I would expect them to be fairly similar. Since Sharleen and Thomas basically became each other, wouldn't the new Sharleen care about the same things as the old? Wouldn't the new Thomas be interested in that fellowship? Does the new Thomas remember his old life and the deal he made? Finally, a couple of things the witch did made me think her power wasn't absolute. First the two people physically transformed. A 'soul exchange' would usually relate more to a body swap. Maybe Thomas didn't actually become Sharleen, but was forced to resemble her. Is there any chance that the spell could be broken or relaxed due to his willpower. Any chance that some of his old memories might come back? You seemed to imply that the witch wasn't completely sure of herself because she needed to check her work to make sure the finished product was what she intended. Also, she indicated that some chance existed that Thomas (the original) might be able to alter his fate. In what way? I'd like to see you continue this story before you skip on to other cases. Marc didn't show just cause to get revenge on Thomas, but now Thomas has cause for revenge.
The Coven #2: Elephant and Castle     Details

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