Random Reviews
i agree the emotions and the story telling are excellent.the desecriptions are also superb and believablethe ending was a bit brief though. and abrupt. Of course there will be more though!you still need an editor though, especially because this story is turning out to be very, very good otherwise and and the have soneone handle an item to someone instead of hand it to them can be a jarring second as the story is being read. the reader has to go back and realise you meant hand instead of handle.Also where and when is the story set?It seems to be long ago with horses and all, but bras were invented in the early 1900's so it seems strange for the woman to handle her one ( ;) in this setting. Perhaps the seamstress could make up a homemade version she makes for active young women with big busts instead. You could even have the bodyguard consider getting rich selling them if he remains stuck in that body.speaking of, they should each be wondering what if... by now, like if i am stuck forever like this. He already did, planning to kill the villain and then himself. But I wonder if he would? It would be killing himself and his charge. he seems like the sort that would go down fighting instead of giving up.have him come up with better scenarios like picturing his teen girl body torturing the villain with the manly princesss applauding until they get the desired return spell!feel free to use that one if you want!I find that good stories inspire good ideas and youor story is very good indeed.It just needs a touch of polishing to put a real sparkle into it!(You can find an editor thru FM! See the top of this page for author's help/info!)And as usual, thanks for sharing your imagination with all of us! |
Bloody and Blondie - The Quest Starts Details |
some background as to how Ray became a teenage girl would be helpful |
Bump Buddies Without a Choice Details |
What a clever story. Talk about the shoe being on theother foot. One of the all-time great ideas I've read here. Would have been better if it were fleshed out a little |
It's a _____'s World Details |
Thanks for your comments I appreciate themlove Elaine |
The Importance of being Juliette Details |
Not that bad I for one would love to read about what happened between Batgirl and Robin while he was dressed as Harly. Hope to read it sometime soon,keep up the good work. Dixie |
Robin's Worst Nightmare Come True Details |
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